My Ugly Truth About DPS Truancy

Truancy Pic

I’m a firm believer that if you are sick you stay home and if your children are sick you keep them home from school. My son now eight years old was born with asthma, eczema and allergies (food & environmental). When he was a baby he seemed to pick up EVERYTHING and it got to the point that I pulled him out of daycare. I worked 1st shift and my husband worked 3rd shift and cared for him during the day. His immune system wasn’t that great and his resistance was low. The doctors kept telling us that he would grow out of it. I dreaded the day he would start school because I had already been through so much with him as a baby. There were many emergency room visits, children’s hospital admissions and countless pediatrician office visits. He was in an early childhood education program and got home schooled twice a week before starting preschool. You would think preschool would have gotten him ready for Kindergarten. Nope!

My child picked up every germ that landed in the classroom. He accumulated many absences “excused” of course and was in jeopardy of flunking kindergarten due to excessive absences. We got through Kindergarten and I thought first grade would be a better year. No. He got the flu twice, numerous colds with upper respiratory infections, tummy bugs, staph infections and all the other germs that kids pass around in school. Now in Kindergarten I took him to the doctor for EVERY little thing, even though the doctors knew he had underlying issues. I did it for the doctor’s note for school! I had been to Truancy Court and explained that my child has a chronic illness with acute symptoms and it causes him to be absent. I don’t send my child to school when he’s sick and miserable. I’m going to be the one to take care of him and nurse him back to good health. No, I don’t trust the school to keep my son comfortable and cater to his needs the way I would when he is ill. The school isn’t a pediatric hospital!

I don’t think the teacher is going to put her ear up to his chest to make sure he isn’t wheezing. Due to the public school system’s budget or lack thereof, there is not an on staff nurse daily. I don’t trust the school’s emergency care plan for my son. It’s just his Albuterol inhaler in the front office where a nurse isn’t even present on a daily basis. If it escalates they will call 911. I know when my son isn’t feeling well and I’m not going to have the school dictate what constitutes as “being sick enough to stay home!” At the end of Kindergarten his doctor wrote a blanket note that basically said… This child has XYZ please expect absences until we get this under control.” Now, in my mind that should have covered me for the year and I would stop wasting my time and the doctor’s time at doctor’s visits when we already knew the issue(s). My son had a better year (fewer absences) in first grade but, he still had absences when he was sick. I didn’t write a note for every absence. I can own up to that, it’s my responsibility to notify the school.

I also had two health issues of my own which caused absences. I sent in notes regarding those absences but we still ended up in truancy court. At this point I’m frustrated because now the school system and the Principle are trying to make me seem like an unfit parent that is doing a disservice to her child by keeping him home when he’s ill. I’ve had the Principal say that… “You are hurting your child; he needs to be in school. He’s missing important work and he’s getting behind” etc. I don’t think my kid would even be paying attention if I sent him to school ill. I’ve also had the school nurse of the day, tell me that she knows my child wasn’t sick all those times I kept him home from school, and then tried to compare her kids and situation to mine. No Ma’am! You are not going to compare yourself to me or my child. I’m NOT here for it. Don’t judge me unjustly! Parent how you would like to and don’t cookie cut my lifestyle and put me in a category of where you think I should fit in. How presumptuous to even have those words leave your mouth!

You should be glad that even though my child seems to pick up every little germ brought into his classroom that I would keep him away from the general population and try to stop it from affecting other people’s children. I also don’t want him getting ill any further. Maybe if you would have sent sick children home in the first place I wouldn’t be dealing with this. My life is tailored around my children. I am a Full Time working mom. When I was working in an office from 9-5 pm and my son got sick, I called out! I now work from home with a more flexible schedule and it allows me to still get my job done while caring for my son if he needs to be home. Having a son that was born with illnesses definitely can be a challenge and unfortunate but, I’m his mom and he’s my responsibility. I’m going to deal with it. My son was retained last year due to excessive absences caused by his illnesses along with times when I was ill and unable to take him to school.

I’ve been told by the principal that if it were up to her she would retain him again but, it’s against the law or policy to retain a child two years in a row. You know what… AND to add to all of this I really don’t give two hoots about standardized testing and bench marks. I’m so over the quotas that need to be met and kids just being taught to be able to pass their EOG’s. I’m two seconds away from home schooling my child, finding a home schooling co-op or small charter school. I understand that my child’s absences are affecting your average daily membership and on an annual basis that can affect the amount of funds DPS (Durham Public Schools) receives per student. However instead of focusing on my child in elementary school who is actually sick, administration can spend their time and effort on children who are cutting school and in jeopardy of not graduating instead of my child that has legitimate reasons for his absences. I have been to Truancy about 5 or 6 different times this school year.

I have complied with the best of my ability and event wrote notes for previous absences that I hadn’t in the past. My son has been to school when he is HEALTHY. That wasn’t enough for the principal so she petitioned me to appear in front of the judge for failing to comply with attendance rules. The fact that these administrators are so narrow minded, stereotypical and discriminatory make me sick. The fact that I have complied with all that was asked of me and it still wasn’t enough is making me think it’s personal. I have documentation from both our health care providers that explain our situations. Just to be clear… Failing to comply with school attendance rules, including excessive tardiness or early pick-ups, can result in a charge of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and neglect. It is a misdemeanor and punishable by up to 120 days in prison and a $500 fine. I truly believe the administration is abusing their authority to implement NC G.S. 115-378 North Carolina Compulsory Attendance Law.

The law clearly states what is excused vs. unexcused with sickness and injury being on the list of excused absences but they still choose to take this course of action. So, if you were in my position, what would you do? I know Truancy Laws differ by state. How are your Truancy Laws and do you send your child to school when they are ill?

Vick’s Behind Ear Thermometer

Influencer Disclosure: I was given a free product or sample because I’m a Klout influencer. I am under no obligation to receive the sample or talk about this company. I get no additional benefits for talking about the product or company.

Thanks to klout perks I received the Vick’s Behind Ear Thermometer at the perfect time. Mini Me was not feeling that great, he had caught a virus and was running a temperature. I was able to take his temperature without bothering him to open his mouth and not talk for a few minutes or even having him put it under his arm and keep still long enough to get a proper reading. The Vick’s Behind Ear Thermometer is super easy to use and it literally takes one second! It’s easy enough for you little ones to use on themselves. Mini me was able to put the thermometer behind his ear with little direction from me and take his own temperature. I used the behind ear thermometer on myself and had a normal temperature of 98.9 I run a few degrees warmer than the normal 98.6 degrees. I would so recommend using the behind ear thermometer. It’s convenient and the entire family can use it. Vick’s Behind Ear Thermometer is available in select pharmacies and retail locations, also available online at Behind Ear with a $10.00 rebate. Check out my pics, enjoy!

Vick's Behind Ear Thermometer

Vick's Behind Ear Thermometer 2

Vick's Behind Ear Thermometer 3

Preschool Germ Pool Chaos…

I’m on my rant again about germs in school and a little confused at the same time. If you want to know what really bugs me, read my previous post I Love You, But You Can Keep Your Germs so you’ll be up to speed. My latest issue comes from “mini me” (my three year old) starting preschool last month and within the first week of being in school he caught a cold. He was miserable for the weekend and out for two days the following week.  Real Scenario: There was a child in my son’s preschool class with a cold and runny nose. He was playing with other children, sharing toys, and playing on the computer etc. The only thing running through my mind was that he was passing nasty germs to all these other children including my son.

I’m a parent that keeps her sick children home from daycare, school, heck the public! If I feel that if my child is contagious or will affect the well being of any other child or person in good health, I keep them in isolation. I know not everyone agrees with me but, I have children that deal with asthma and a simple cold can trigger an asthma attack and cause breathing problems for the duration the cold lasts. I try to keep my children healthy as would any other parent, and I’ll isolate them from each other if an illness hits my household so that we’re not passing it around. In know at times it’s inevitable and a cold, flu or virus will run its course through your family one person at a time!  I’ve been there! However, I believe in taking preventative measures.

Today I took “mini me” to the pediatrician AGAIN, because he’s picked up a viral infection. The one thing I asked the doctor is how I should approach dealing with germs and preschool. The doctor said that typically when a fever is gone and symptoms start to subside you can send your child back to school. As children are exposed to things they build immunity to it and their immune system get stronger. There is a study that states that children in the 2nd grade are absent just as much as children in preschool. I don’t understand why parents send their sick contagious children to school. It seems like a never ending cycle of germ swapping to me. In a perfect world I’d like children with contagious symptoms to be kept at home, and if they go to school be sent home by the school nurse.

My son has to deal with allergies, asthma and eczema on a regular basis. I try to prevent anything else that he may have to deal with on top of his existing issues.  No, one wants a miserable sick child! So, am I the only one who feels strongly that sick children need to be kept home or should we allow them to swap germs at school in the hopes they are helping each other build a tolerable immune system?

Cause & Effect

So here I am playing catch up AGAIN! It’s been six days since my last post. When am I not playing catch up? I swear if it’s not one thing it’s another! So my Pooh Bear has been sick for a little over a week. I took him to the ER last weekend due to an infection that had him so miserable and this is where all our additional problems started! Now, here’s a little background history… Pooh Bear is now two years old. He has food allergies and seasonal allergies due to pollen. We have to deal with eczema and we also are on Xopenex for wheezing! The pediatrician did say it comes in three’s. Allergies, Asthma and Eczema! Ugh!

We visited the ER last Saturday and they put Pooh Bear on an aggressive antibiotic, which tasted horrible! Yuck! I was having such an issue getting him to take the full dosage. We had to follow up with the pediatrician on Monday who then switched the antibiotic to a better tasting one. Within 24-48 hours Pooh Bear started to have diarrhea. Well, that was a side affect of the first medication he was on. We go back to the doctor on Tuesday to check in because Pooh Bear has such a sensitive system that he reacts to almost everything, we passed that check up and we are on the road to recovery! So I thought… By Thursday I had stopped his antibiotics to see if the diarrhea would stop! On Friday I noticed a diaper rash on Pooh Bear’s rear end! Within a 24 hour period it got worse; I started to use Desitin on it, and then switched to Aveeno Diaper Rash Cream. It was horrible!

Pooh Bear didn’t want to be changed, he couldn’t sit down, and he was so uncomfortable! I struggled through every changing! We were both crying on Saturday as I changed him, and I’m apologizing to him telling him that mommy’s sorry and I’m going to make it all better. He looks up at me with tears in his eyes and says “Its okay mommy!”*My heart sank* I was so concerned that I called the nurse line on Saturday and needed advice. Nurse Advice: Go to the pharmacy and get Florastor a pro biotic to help restore his GI system and hopefully the diarrhea will slow down and/ or stop completely. Try to get him to eat yogurt as well. Get Derma Care, a diaper rash cream that is more concentrated and tends to work faster on really bad diaper rashes. Okay, I was successful at getting the Florastor but, not the Derma Care. Derma Care needs to be prescribed by a physician. Pooh Bear doesn’t like yogurt, he spits it right out! Lovely! (Sarcasm) Oh, and I almost forgot… She told me to let him run around bare with no diaper, it needs as much air to hit it as possible and it will help heal the diaper rash. Now, I swear I mentioned at the beginning of the conversation, that he had diarrhea. My first thoughts: Um, I’m not talking about a puppy that I can crate and do clean up all in one place! I’m talking about an active two year old. I have no problem laying him on a towel bare bottom while he’s sleeping! There’s no way I’m doing it while he’s up and running around. That would be a hot mess!

Okay, this is the second weekend in a row that I’ve had to call the nurse line and follow up with the doctor on Monday. So, we go to visit the pediatrician and he takes a look at Pooh Bears little butt! Okay, he says this is from the diarrhea! It’s so acidic and when it touches his skin it get’s irritated. Me: Well, it’s not like he’s sitting in a diaper, he gets changed immediately after he goes. Dr: It doesn’t matter! He’s been having diarrhea since Tuesday. I’m going to prescribe a cream that is used when usually treating elderly patients for bed sores! Me (In My head): What the hell! Dr.: It’s a barrier cream that will protect the sores and help the healing process. It should clear up in no time, there’s no need to start him back on the antibiotics! I think the medicine has had enough time to do its job! Me: OK, well Thanks! I have been here three times within the last week and I hope I don’t I don’t see you for a while! *smiles*

Conclusion: My son was ill due to an open wound caused by scratching from his eczema; the wound got infected and he then got antibiotics which caused diarrhea, which in return caused a really bad diaper rash! But, we’re on the mend! Yippee!

So there you have it! I’ve been on hiatus yet again, but I’m back for now! Let’s hope this lasts a little while shall we! If only I could put him in a bubble and keep him safe!

I Love You But, You Can Keep Your Germs…

Why do people knowingly go into public places or attend functions knowing that they are sick and germ carriers. This is definitely a pet peeve I have and it irritates the crap out of me! These are a few issues that I have and I’m trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings or have them feel as though I’m disrespecting them but, in the end I feel disrespected!


Point & Case #1: I have a girlfriend who I get along with very well, we have children that are around the same ages and they play well together, however every time we get together her toddler is sick. I’m not exaggerating! The baby is always battling a cold, on antibiotics for some type of viral infection and she will still pop up at my home or come to a gathering with a sick baby. Now, I have asked why the baby is frequently sick and said in so many words maybe you should have stayed home but, she is always exposing this child to other people. There are two separate occasions that my toddler and I got sick behind her daughter and I was pissed. If you know your child is sick, please stay home! The other day she popped up at my home and my hubby answered the door and, there she is again with a sick baby, nose running and just irritable. I try to get hubby’s attention so, he doesn’t invite her in because I know this is just going to expose our household to these germs and he doesn’t acknowledge me so here she is in my home. She stays for an hour or so long enough for her child to touch everything play with my kids and spew germs. Yes, I think like that! Here it is a few days later and guess who’s not feeling so hot? Now, I’ve tried to be nice and I’m at the point of total alienation. Stay away from me; I don’t want you in my house when you or your child is not healthy. Why would you expose us to this? Now, there is me, hubby and (4) children. When I am not feeling well, I will alienate everyone and try to get well. I tell the kids to stay away from me and go to their dad for anything. Why get them sick? I’m just going to end up taking care of them, and then we’re going to recycle germs. Yuck! I call in to work when I’m sick so I don’t spread my crud and then return when I am better. I think everyone should think like this.

Point & Case #2: I have my toddler in a home daycare facility. I chose it over a commercial center because I wanted him to have more attention and I knew if there weren’t a lot of children the less likely he’d be to get sick frequently. I hear so many stories from my girlfriends that have their children in large daycare centers and I don’t understand how or why a provider would let a sick child remain in daycare. I know things have gotten a little stricter with the H1N1 flu and if your child has a fever they are sent home immediately, this is in schools as well. Every virus has an incubation period before the symptoms start to show so I do know that there are times you won’t know if you or your child has been exposed to a viral bacteria but, when symptoms are clearly stated why drop them off at daycare to start a daycare pandemic. I mean really! The worse place to send a sick child is school. They are exposing their germs to other children constantly. They wipe their runny nose with their hands and don’t wash them then touch a toy that another child will put in their mouth. You see where I am going with this… Now everyone in the toddler room within days of each other is sick. I can’t stand it!

So, my personal experience was that a little girl at my son’s daycare was sick and it was taken lightly. She had a runny nose and had spit up once when mom dropped her off. Now, when I dropped my son off at daycare I didn’t know any of this. I picked him up later on that evening and I had actually seen the little girl and asked about her. She looked really miserable and lethargic and just sick, poor baby! Well at this point is when I find out she’s been sick and had actually not eaten much of anything all day, had some diarrhea and vomiting and had slept mostly. I was immediately alarmed that my son had been around her all day. Now the provider did say that they were in separate rooms mostly but, you can’t control air borne viruses. Within a twenty four hour time frame my son was vomiting with diarrhea to the point we ended up taking him to the children’s Hospital because he tore his esophagus from gagging so much and his vomit was streaked with blood. I almost lost it! Now within twenty four hours of the baby getting sick my second youngest got sick, then the oldest and then my middle son and last but not lease me and hubby. My whole family got sick because one person didn’t keep their child at home. Working parents are going to have to take time off sometimes because of ill children. I know times are hard and everyone needs to make money, and sick days and vacation days can be scarce but, damn! I was livid!

I am an overly protective mom and I have OCD tendencies. I walk with hand sanitizer in my purse, Lysol Spray and Clorox wipes are always within my reach and if I could happily live in a bubble I would! My children are taught to wash their hands frequently and have personal bottles of hand sanitizer in their backpacks. I teach my children to cover their mouth when they cough and turn away in the bend of their arm when they sneeze to help eliminate the spread of germs. I also tell them to stay away from children at school who may be sick and if their sniffling, sneezing, and coughing to tell them to cover their mouth and wash their hands or better yet move away from them. I have a health insurance with a co pay which saves me from paying a full price for a doctor’s visit. This may not be the case for some people and it can be costly. I have very strong feelings about this, what’s your take on this?

error: Ask And You Shall Receive!!