JenOni

It's A Lifestyle!

WAHM For A Day

I recently had to work at home for the first time with mini me and it was one of the hardest things I’ve encountered. I didn’t have a plan for my day as to how I’d maneuver getting my work done and keeping him occupied. This was a first for me. I’m used to being “MOMMY” and giving him my undivided attention but, today had to be a little different. I did manage to work for a couple of hours before I woke him up and then the demanding preschooler started to want all my attention. I know that he has a schedule at preschool and when when he’s there, he follows the structure but at home it’s different. Also at school they have story time in the morning, eat breakfast and then go and play out on the playground for about 30 minutes, they have learning centers after that, then lunch, nap time and before you know it, it’s time for me to pick him up! Preschool is from 8:30 am to 2:30 pm. One thing I learned really quick is that I’d have to discipline him with a routine schedule at home. However, it’s almost like he’s a completely different child at school. He’s definitely more independent.

I totally commend moms who work at home on a daily basis, and moms that home-school! I’m sure that scheduling and structure play a huge role in how you are able to successfully carry out your daily tasks. I would lose my ever loving mind if I had to do this on a daily basis! I can’t even function properly when I bring mini me to the office with me for a couple of hours. I end up abandoning my work to play Nick Jr. videos on my laptop, color, and keep him from disrupting the rest of my office. We eventually just pack up and leave! Working at home was definitely a challenge for me. When I am working on a graphic or web design project, I start to work late usually after mini me is asleep until the wee hours in the morning. I’m definitely going to have to have something in place because I’ll be working from home a lot more and mini me will be home part of the time when he’s not in preschool. If you have any advice to share, I’d REALLY appreciate it. I need a check list of MUSTS for work at home moms, if you are a WAHM and use a checklist or have a special system, I’d love to hear from you.

Spoiled Rotten Enablement or a Mother’s Unconditional Love

Today I have a guest post written by (my sister) O. Laing, she got a kick out of writing this because she critiques me on the way I raise my children all the time. She has made statements about my tween and teens but when it comes to mini me… I got it BAD! He’s spoiled rotten. Enjoy…

The Scenario: You drop your child off at preschool and every morning since the first day in August you walk him inside, take off his coat, hang it in his cubby, take him to wash his hands, seat him and say a long drawn out good bye because you just know that he is about to cry because you are leaving. Now it’s December and the teacher requests a word with you. She says “Mom, may I make a suggestion, would you mind not walking him to his cubby in the morning and, not taking off his coat so that he can do it himself and, not taking him to wash his hands so that he can do it himself, because we would like him to become more independent and please don’t take this the wrong way but if you could just drop him off at the door and leave it would be helpful.”

Haaa that’s priceless…

Who better to review a very personal post on the mother-son relationship than a family member. My sister Jen is a wonderful mother to all of her four children. However it seems that in the mix of over 16 years of motherhood she has been outnumbered, swindled, bamboozled, double teamed and just plain out taken for a ride by these children.

I label my sister an ENABLER, she takes motherly duties (in my opinion which I am entitled to) to a whole new level…and if what I am about to say pinches your nerves you possibly may be an enabler too!

My sister’s youngest is 3 going on 23. He is the smartest little ass you will ever meet. He embodies a little genius and knows how to use it. He is fully capable of completing multiple tasks on his own but because he knows that Mom is there he will suddenly get a case of developmental delay and forget everything he has ever mastered.

My sister allows her son to dictate bedtime and then in the morning when he can’t get up, she prepares him for school with all the fixers; brushed teeth, combed hair etc. all while this child is sleeping. Then physically carries him to the car and into the classroom. She calls what she does rousing him from his slumber. Yeah, I call that complete control, Son 1: Mom 0.

A song comes to mind when I think of my sisters relationship with her son, Lisa Lobe, Linger, “I’m such a fool for you, you’ve got me wrapped around your finger, do you have to let it linger, do you have to, do you have to… ” well maybe not the entire song but at least the chorus.

I am so proud that the teacher made light of the situation and upset that she waited four months to do so. I have been saying it for years but I guess it’s different coming from a professional. WHATEVER! I don’t know what psychology my nephew practiced on his mother or further more how she convinced herself that good mothering meant giving in to your child’s every desire. Whether it is physically, emotionally, or retail…a 3 year old or any other child should not dictate your footsteps in life. You also should not feel guilty about teaching your little one independence. If your child is coddled all their life then how will they be able to cope as an adult without you? For the reverse how will you be able to cope without this being that you have nurtured to the point of no return when they want to fly the coup?

Now my sister claims that this is her last child and she spoils him because she has an opportunity to do things for him that she never had the ability to do with her older children. I can appreciate that however not allowing him to walk and holding him while you maneuver through a grocery store is not the same as taking him to see Elmo on Ice and joining a mommy and me yoga class. While she feels justified, I see the frustration when she wants to get some work done on the computer an a little leprechaun comes and sits in her lap demanding her undivided attention. You can love your child unconditionally without appeasing his every demand, setting boundaries and routines allows your child to respect your role as Mommy (creator of all good and make everything better goddess) even more and appreciate you more when you do spoil them.

I am proud to say that I assisted my sister in taking the teachers suggestion and on a cold Monday morning we walked (emphasis on walked) up the stairs into the building and to the classroom door, with a promise of a surprise later on in the evening my nephew took off his coat, put it in his cubby, washed his hands and waved a strong “bye mom, see you later auntie”! and the world did not end….

Jen: “In my defense, Mini Me doesn’t dictate his bedtime. I need to break the cycle where he needs to have me holding him when he sleeps. We co-sleep and he doesn’t fall asleep at bedtime without being next to me. He’ll wait up for me to come to bed or if I put him down and he doesn’t feel me next to him anymore, he wakes up. I plan to wean him out of my bed in the new year. This year our milestone was weaning him from breastfeeding. My cut off was originally 24 mos. but that didn’t happen and it was more like 39 mos. That’s a whole other post. Baby Steps…”

Preschool Germ Pool Chaos…

I’m on my rant again about germs in school and a little confused at the same time. If you want to know what really bugs me, read my previous post I Love You, But You Can Keep Your Germs so you’ll be up to speed. My latest issue comes from “mini me” (my three year old) starting preschool last month and within the first week of being in school he caught a cold. He was miserable for the weekend and out for two days the following week.  Real Scenario: There was a child in my son’s preschool class with a cold and runny nose. He was playing with other children, sharing toys, and playing on the computer etc. The only thing running through my mind was that he was passing nasty germs to all these other children including my son.

I’m a parent that keeps her sick children home from daycare, school, heck the public! If I feel that if my child is contagious or will affect the well being of any other child or person in good health, I keep them in isolation. I know not everyone agrees with me but, I have children that deal with asthma and a simple cold can trigger an asthma attack and cause breathing problems for the duration the cold lasts. I try to keep my children healthy as would any other parent, and I’ll isolate them from each other if an illness hits my household so that we’re not passing it around. In know at times it’s inevitable and a cold, flu or virus will run its course through your family one person at a time!  I’ve been there! However, I believe in taking preventative measures.

Today I took “mini me” to the pediatrician AGAIN, because he’s picked up a viral infection. The one thing I asked the doctor is how I should approach dealing with germs and preschool. The doctor said that typically when a fever is gone and symptoms start to subside you can send your child back to school. As children are exposed to things they build immunity to it and their immune system get stronger. There is a study that states that children in the 2nd grade are absent just as much as children in preschool. I don’t understand why parents send their sick contagious children to school. It seems like a never ending cycle of germ swapping to me. In a perfect world I’d like children with contagious symptoms to be kept at home, and if they go to school be sent home by the school nurse.

My son has to deal with allergies, asthma and eczema on a regular basis. I try to prevent anything else that he may have to deal with on top of his existing issues.  No, one wants a miserable sick child! So, am I the only one who feels strongly that sick children need to be kept home or should we allow them to swap germs at school in the hopes they are helping each other build a tolerable immune system?

error: Ask And You Shall Receive!!