Tackling Fear One Baby Step At A Time…

It is said that FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real but, what I feel when I’m about to speak publicly to an audience feels so real to me! I recently had to speak to an audience upwards of fifty people as a presenter at an awards ceremony for my job. I was prepared with a speech, went over everything I needed to say and was fine until the moment I had to get up in front of everyone and open my mouth. I’m a very social person, I mean I can talk to strangers with no problem. I attend networking events or business mixers and give myself a goal of how many people in the room I intend to meet and I usually exceed my goal. I am not shy online and speak freely on my social media platforms as I do in person but, I’d rather do that than get up in front of a large audience and speak. I carry on knowledgable conversations with many and I’m sure other people would appreciate the subject matter, and maybe even benefit from it. I just don’t have an urge to get up in front of large audiences and share!

This is one of the main reasons whenever blog conferences open their call for speakers and volunteers, I’m the first one to volunteer on the social squad vs. speaking. I can tolerate being on a panel or even at a roundtable publicly speaking to an audience just not by myself. I recently went to a networking breakfast with over 200 working moms in attendance and they had a Q & A portion and I had a question but, didn’t open my mouth to ask! It’s really mind boggling to me! It’s like… I don’t want all the attention on me. I’ve been in a similar setting where I was put on the spot to answer a question and handled it pretty well. I’ve somewhat come to the conclusion that I fear judgement and rejection. I’m open to creative criticism and I handle that well, I know not everyone is going to like the way I do things. As a freelance Graphic Designer that’s why I concentrate on custom work and what people want, I like bringing my clients vision to life. It’s really funny but, 99.9% of the time I get the designs right on the first try and that is very satisfying to me.

So what can I do to get past this major hindrance? I see myself having to speak frequently in the near future for work and also pushing myself to maybe even pitch to speak on a panel at a blog conference in 2014… I need to fix this! We had a very in depth Twitter Chat about FEAR on #MomBizMondays and I was relieved that it’s a more common fear than anything! So, I’m not alone! Now I need to really push myself and face my fear of public speaking. I also need to master taking deep breaths when speaking, my anxiety kicks in and my heart races and I feel like I’m going to start to hyperventilate! My voice gets shaky and it’s obvious that I’m a nervous wreck! I always practice before speaking and I will only speak on subjects that I am familiar with, I don’t need the added stress of trying to be an expert on a subject that I’m not. I’ve heard of Toastmasters and may have to give that a try. So, what are some pointers you can give me to get me over this hump. Is this fear real or all in my head?

Food For Thought: I recently found out that public speaking is the #1 fear in North America. The second greatest fear is death.

When Others Fear Your Success

Sometimes things happen for a reason. I recently found myself in a position where I reached out to a Entrepreneur who owns a small Marketing Company that I would consider a mentor of sorts because of the direction I would like to take my brand in. I was actually referred to this person from a friend. I wrote a very professional pitch letter and attached my media kit to the email asking to intern or become a mentee so I can further my professional marketing and PR experience. I was thrown off by the reply and even more surprised that after I responded to it I didn’t receive a reply to my response. While there are many established companies that welcome interns or mentees I guess there are some that don’t or maybe it’s just the cases where they may feel threatened.

I am going to give you my personal opinion of the situation and you can weigh in once I give you the details. The initial response to the first email I sent was that… “it seemed as though I was trying to do something similar to their company and offer similar services”. There were differences in their list of offerings and what I would like to do. It was also questioned how they thought they would be able to help me without becoming competitive and securing their clients. I honestly just wanted to learn and would never as a intern or mentee solicit another companies clients. That’s just really shady! I know they did their research on me by investigating my media kit and going to all my social media channels etc. to see if my stats were accurate and see how I engage on my social media platforms. They did mention that they were impressed at how far I have come on my own.

The conclusion I have come to after not receiving a response to my last email explaining that I had no intention of becoming competitive and was in no position to do that, I just wanted to learn. I got a sense of them fearing my success. I also offered my services to do things that may not be a strong suit for the company. I stated that there are people who always outsource tasks that they don’t particularly like doing themselves so they can focus on their passion and what they are happiest doing. At the end of the day, I got no response and decided to leave it be. What I did learn from this situation is that no matter what, someone is always watching you offline and online. I received a few emails after this particular incident with opportunities to do exactly what I wanted to do from larger corporate companies. I was elated that they thought of me and that I will be able to gain the experience I seek to expand my brand .

I am okay with the outcome because it wasn’t the right opportunity for me and I see that. Sometimes we may encounter obstacles or roadblocks but, when one door closes another one opens and it may exceed our expectations. A mentor shouldn’t mind you picking their brain, listening to you bounce ideas off of them or mind pushing you in the right direction. Have you ever been in a situation where you felt another person, blogger or company for that matter didn’t want to see you succeed or feared your success, almost putting you in a position where they viewed you as a potential threat to them? This was my first real up close and personal encounter with this type of situation. What are your thoughts?

error: Ask And You Shall Receive!!