I jumped on the opportunity to review Formerly A Wife (A Survival Guide for Women Facing the Pain and Disruption of Divorce) by Welby Oâ€™Brien. While I am a VERY private person, I had a very rough separation and divorce. The relationship with my ex-husband spanned over 20 years. We were high school sweethearts, grew up together and have four beautiful children. The life I had with him was all I ever knew and suddenly I felt broken, useless and worthless.
I will admit that I lost my sense of self over the years. I knew how to be a wife and mother usually putting their needs before my own. My children were at an age where I was semi empty nesting and my life was changing drastically. Change can be hard, I didnâ€™t like it! I know Iâ€™ll always be Mom but, when your kids move out of the house and your going through a divorce it just feels EMPTY! I went from having a full house of six to half a house and itâ€™s been a huge transition for me.
The most important thing I wanted to do was work on me! I needed to grieve, learn to cope and heal before I could move on. I still have one minor that my ex-husband and I co-parent. Our three older ones are young adults. I felt alone as though no one could possibly know what Iâ€™m going through. He was my best friend and I loved him with every part of me. When I walked away from our marriage, I still loved him but, some things seemed irreparable and it was toxic. I needed to get out!
Welby Oâ€™Brien is writing from experience and sharing her truth with us! She covers so many topics like moving on, the other woman, defining new roles, triggers and so much more. I honestly wish I wouldâ€™ve had this guide three years ago. We were separated for one year and weâ€™ve been divorced for two years this month. I will say that it does get easier with time but, take as long as you need to heal. Divorce is devastating and nothing you justâ€¦ â€œGet Over!â€ Iâ€™m just getting to happy.
Formerly A Wife gives you a checklist for survival, encourages you to arm yourself with scripture and pour your heart out to God. There is a scripture for every situation and the way you may be feeling. Iâ€™ll admit that I needed and continue to need constant motivation and inspiration to get me through some rough patches. I drew closer to God and took everything one day at a time. There were good days and bad days. I was so used to being â€œstrongâ€ and I got tired! I learned to pray and give it to God.
Welby Oâ€™Brien holds a masterâ€™s degree in counseling from Portland State University and a teaching degree from Biola University. She is also a contributing author to Chicken Soup for the Soul: Divorce and Recovery, Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Spirit of America, as well as Shepherding Women in Pain. Actively involved in leadership and teaching for over 30 years, Welby has also been a welcomed guest on radio and television, as well as featured in video productions. One Takeaway: You’re NOT alone!