Harness Your Energy and Use it Wisely

You ever have an “AHA” moment?!?! I recently had the opportunity to hear Nicoa Dunne (Executive Energy & Happiness Coach) from Holland Archer, Inc. speak and I left with a need to reevaluate myself and how I respond to certain situations. Nicoa’s tag line is… “every action, every reaction, every interaction” I have a tendency to change moods within seconds and it can be based upon something that someone did or what someone said and NOT necessarily what they said but, how they said it to me! Nicoa was able to take us through our typical day to day experiences and point out situations that may occur and how we might respond to it without actually realizing what we are doing or saying. Nicoa showed us how we can take a better approach to the way we respond to situations within our careers and lives. Fun Fact: I curse A LOT, especially when I’m behind the wheel operating a vehicle! It’s horrible! I know half the time the other party can‘t hear me so why am I cussing like a sailor in the front seat of my car?!?! I actually don’t think I have road rage; I just don’t have a tolerance for stupid drivers! Ex: You cut me off without signaling, you slam on breaks in front of me, you don’t use your indicators when turning and you don’t know how to effectively merge! Just to name a few things that get me fired up! Lol! I’m actively working on this… I’m just saying! The running joke in the office is that I won’t offer to carpool for this reason. It does have some truth to it!

Can You See Yourself

So, first Nicoa shared that we own our responses to situations AND it’s ALWAYS our choice! There are 7 levels of energy. (1) Victim – I hate myself; I lose/lost before I even started. It’s About Me! (2) Conflict – I hate you; you lose – blame and anger about others. It’s all about you! (3) Rationalizer – I forgive you, I win – I hope you win, but I’m going to win. It’s about me! (4) Caregiver – I feel for you, you win – I only win if you do. It’s all about you/others! (5) Opportunist – I understand you; we both win – working together. It’s about us! (6) Visionary – I am you, everyone else wins – all about the journey. We’re one! (7) Creator – I am, winning and losing are illusions – everything is flow. Nothing really happened! It’s really not them… It’s me! Ask ourselves… What level of energy am I “receiving” this information? What is my thought , my emotion, my initial reaction? Will this serve me? OR do I need to anchor my energy? What will work best with this person, situation? Is this aligned to my goals, strategy, and vision? I honestly in the midst of a situation I never really PAUSED (Took a DEEP breath!) and thought to break it down like this and ask myself these questions. Have you? I know this takes practice because it the middle of a disagreement you’re more on defense and not listening effectively. You are listening to respond and get your point across.

7 Levels of Energy

One quote spoke to me and it states… “It’s NOT what you say that matters most; it’s WHY you say it… and HOW you say it.” – Bruce D. Schneider (Founder, IPEC Coaching) I can think of situations that I could have handled differently, if I would have NOT reacted prematurely or taken something out of context. Nicoa also gave us some questions to ask ourselves. What am I making this mean? Am I assuming? What other interpretations are there? Is it that silly GREMLIN? (Gremlin = Your gremlin is highly personal. It is rooted deeply inside you and carries the most intense emotional charge of any of the blocks we’ve explored. Your gremlin thrives on fear. When you hear its whispers, your motivation to try withers. You dread failing, feeling pain, and being embarrassed. You can even be scared of succeeding if the gremlin convinces you that you’ll fail eventually. Sound familiar?) ** Taken from Holland Archer website** I have a gremlin that I wrestle with on a daily basis for different reasons. Nicoa shared choices. So, what do I want to do? Observe myself: I get to choose my response, even when I am experiencing someone else’s reaction. It takes practice so be easy on yourself! Decide on your intention EVERY time. YOU choose how you want to show up. Repeat, Reflect, Repeat, and Reflect!

The Gremlin

How do you anchor your energy? (SOUL ) Stop – be mindful of your intentions, relax, take a deep breath, and be in the moment fully. Observe – what role you are in, what situation you are in? who else is engaged with you? Understanding – what matters most to you in this role, in this situation? What is your intention? Live/Lead – live the legacy you want to leave behind – by choosing the energy level that will best serve you. I was able to really understand where Nicoa was coming from and decided to start working on me to really try and make the right choice when responding to situations. I’ll also look at how I am receiving information as well and when I am speaking to others how what I am saying may be interpreted by them. I’m pretty blunt with minimal filter and whatever I am thinking just rolls off my tongue. I’ve always been like this, no sugar coating or buttering you up for anything… It is what it is! I do know that not everyone can deal with that and you may have to change the way you say something without changing the message you want to give. Ah… I’m a work in progress! Can you handle if someone speaks with you candid or do you need the “light” version?

This is Science

Here is another quote that spoke to me: “The Optimist Sees the Rose and Not it’s Thorns; The Pessimist stares at the Thorns, oblivious to the Rose.” – Khalil Gibran

Jen and Nicoa

I thoroughly enjoyed Nicoa Dunne’s presentation and I am actively on a road to being a happier me! For more information about Nicoa Dunne and her Coaching Services you can visit the Holland Archer website. Stay connected on social media as well for all the latest updates!

Nicoa Dunne is Social

I’m Getting A Makeover

Makeover Feat.

Happy “New You” CONTEST includes a FULL Makeover! Complete with Clothing, Accessories, wardrobe styling, makeup, a new do AND a glam Photo Shoot!

In case you are wondering it’s totally true what they say… All the amazing things are waiting for you outside of your comfort zone. I had to write a letter stating why I needed a makeover which is so not me because I keep things like that to myself. I entered the contest on the last day, I just happened to see the post on Facebook and said “why not?”. One thing I did learn is that even though you may be thinking or feeling a certain way about yourself, it doesn’t mean that others see you that way. After all is said and done people think I’m fabulous and look great even if I may not feel the same way. I guess that’s why it’s called “self esteem”! Here is a copy of the contest entry letter I wrote…

Jessica, I’m a thirty-something year old mother of four (2 boys & 2 girls) and it’s in our nature to always put others needs especially our children’s before our own. I’ll even add my husband into the equation. I usually try to make everyone else happy and put myself on the back burner. I was employed with a company for over six years until I was laid off last October. I’m still currently unemployed and looking for work daily.

I had started blogging back in 2009 and have built a great online network, blog business and I am still passionate about Marketing but, I’ve slowed down on attending social and networking events because I am not feeling the greatest about myself. I slipped into a slight depression after being laid off and retreated to staying home because of my mood and not so good look. I definitely want to turn that around! My attire lately has been sweat pants and t-shirts or jeans and a t-shirts.

I have been wearing the same hairstyle since high school just because it’s been easy to maintain a doobie wrap style. Recently I started to not relax my hair and transition into going natural and my hair is a hot mess! It’s been roughly five months since I’ve relaxed my hair. I don’t know what to do with it! At the end of the day, I have goals and want to rebuild my personal confidence. I am in the process of launching my own PR boutique and I need to continue to network and build relationships online and offline. I haven’t felt good lately and want to get my sexy back. I honestly could use a makeover and would love to launch my business and take everyone by storm but, I’m not motivated to make appearances due to my “self esteem” issues. It’s just easier to stay home!

I’d love to be pampered and made over considering I’m always doing it for someone else! I’ll always make sure my kids and husband leave the house looking presentable and get them whatever they may need. This would be a dream come true and it would help me move forward with my personal and professional life. It’s bad when your husband has to tell you not to let yourself go and cheer up things won’t be like this forever! I hope I get an opportunity to get made over, I really need a “New Me” this year so I can move forward, get motivated and progress towards living my dreams. I’ve definitely seen better days! I attached a recent picture of myself and sent off the email. The winner would be announced at the Red Carpet Grammy Party the following week.

The Red Carpet Grammy Party was super fun. My sister accompanied me and we played dress up, drank champagne, played Grammy trivia where I won $20 flaunt bucks and was even gifted an additional $20 “Thanks Shannon” because I was on a budget but saw a dress that I couldn’t leave without and plan on wearing for Valentine’s Day. The time had come to reveal the contest winner(s) and… I was a winner! Thanks to the panelist of judges who voted for me. I’m so excited! Enjoy some pictures from the event and you know I’ll blog with a makeover update.

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When Life Serves You Lemons…

I’ve recently learned not to get too comfortable with what I would consider a normal routine. For a little over the past five years I’ve worked for my current employer faithfully along with juggling all my personal chaos. It’s funny that I actually thrive on chaos because when things get too calm, I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m the mother of four children (2 teens, 1 tween and 1 preschooler), maintain my blog and publish articles 3-4 times a week, started a graphic design business back in 09’ and keep a crazy schedule to be successful in all that I do. I’m always mom first, and once home is taken care of I can do everything else with ease. I’m usually complaining about needing more hours in the day to complete projects, time management and lacking rest. Well. My complaints may have been answered in a round a bout way.

Last week I was called into my supervisor’s office for a small meeting, I had no idea what to expect. Well after all was said and done due to budget cuts and other important factors I am now a PT employee for the company. My hours, salary and benefits have been affected by this change. I’m scared, nervous and still processing the information. I have been trying to look at this situation as a blessing in disguise! I will now work from 9am – 2pm vs. 9am – 5pm. I’m still getting used to this change. I get off at 2pm and get the strangest feeling like… What do I do now? So I had to sit down and make some decisions after sheer panic. Do I look for another PT job so I can continue to have a FT income, do I focus on my Jael Custom Designs brand… What do I do now? I immediately updated my resume and started to search and submit it on job search engines.

I had a pitty party for myself that didn’t last very long because I’m surrounded by family, friends and business colleagues that motivate me and have solid faith in me even when my faith may be tested at times. I’ve been told to make a decision, either I’m going to sink or swim and take my destiny in my own hands instead of leaving it to someone else. That being said… I’ve started to make lists of what I’d like to accomplish. I’m going to have to set monthly goals and really work towards them. I’ve always had the security of my FT job and didn’t rely on income from my business, because it wasn’t consistent. I didn’t drive my business sales because frankly I was scared I wouldn’t be able to supply my services with the demand. I liked accepting projects at my leisure and getting referrals from my clients.

I guess I’m going to look at this set back as a blessing and take the time to do for myself what I’m so good at doing for others… BRANDING & MARKETING! I’ll take this time to really grow and expand my brand and my skill set to offer my clients more. I’ve focused on Graphic and web design but, I’m a career driven marketing professional and networking is my business! After all that’s how I build all these awesome relationships that last! I’ll push myself to stay positive, faithful and motivated. I can be thankful I’m not completely unemployed! So, I guess I’m going to take these lemons and progressively it will become sweet lemonade. If you have any words of wisdom, please share.

error: Ask And You Shall Receive!!