In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson “The only way to have a friend is to be one”
First let’s look at the definition of FRIEND. 1. A friend is a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. 2. A person who gives assistance; patron; supporter. 3. A person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.
I can say that I have a few of these in my circle. I have friends that I’ve known since Elementary, Middle & High School and even though we’ve somewhat grown apart in our adult lives we can still pick up where we left off whenever we reconnect. I have friends I’ve met in adulthood whom I’ve grown to love like my own family. My true friends know me inside and out and accept me for who I am. I’m transparent, what you see is what you get! Funny enough I haven’t really had any huge falling outs with any of my true friends either, which is great because I hold grudges! I’m working on that though…
I am the type of friend that loves to keep the peace and will give you my last, but if I am being taken advantage of will 86 you in a heart beat! I’m very honest, up front, blunt and at times have no filter especially if I’m emotional about the subject matter but, will tell you like it is! I can say anything to someone’s face, and if I can’t it won’t come out my mouth! I’m that friend that will give you a shoulder to cry on, an ear to vent, be understanding and just be there in their times of need because I know hands down they’d do it for me. Friendship is reciprocated. Friends are allies not enemies and I’m not looking for frenemies! Oh… and I don’t pass judgement either. That’s not my job!
What I don’t like and won’t tolerate is someone who acts like they are a friend but, really isn’t. Someone who doesn’t have my best interest at heart and someone who passes judgement like they are holier than thou… I also love bringing people together who may not have met had it not been through me, and I’m protective of my circle of friends. I completely appreciate when our diverse personalities mesh well. When my girls and I get together we are open to speak freely about whatever is on our hearts. We shouldn’t have to modify our dialogue, worry about being judged or someone thinking our genuine feelings are not so genuine and wreckless chatter!
What really stands out to me though is some people just don’t know how to appreciate a good friend or be a good friend for that matter! I’ve had some situations arise that have me reevaluating who my TRUE friends are. At the end of the day true friends are blessings and shouldn’t be taken for granted! Do you consider yourself a good friend? What do look for in friendship? What would your friends say about you?
I consider myself to be a good friend, I actually try to be a great friend but I realize that sometimes we can let life get in the way. I am the type of friend that does not need to speak with you daily, weekly, or monthly. I will be there for you no matter what.
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I so agree with everything you have said in regards to what the expectations of a true friend are. I consider anyone who calls me a friend I very lucky. I am very generous and soft-hearted. I have learned over time that I get taken advantage of numerous times. I have gotten better as saying NO! People speak very highly of me as a friend. I am very loyal and most of those in my circle have become my family. I have valued more of my relationships with friends more than I have with relatives.
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I think that I’m a good friend. Who doesn’t? I can definitely say that I TRY. I may fall short sometimes, but the few friends that I have, still stick with me, imperfections, shortcomings and all.
This is an awesome post! My friends are the family I get to pick for myself and I choose very carefully.
I am not certain if I would be considered a good friend. I am not the type that calls all the time, or visits often. I enjoy being the type of friend that enjoys being there when it matters. I am the type of friend that you call when you need me most. For me, juggling dating, parenting, working, and volunteering leaves very little time for a very involved friendship. Most of my friends are drama free, low maintenance, people with lives that have similar lifestyles as mine. My friends call me loyal.
Great post. I consider myself a good friend. I keep secrets, offer support and advice. When friends don’t reciprocate, it bothers me and I’ll cut them off. I’m learning that I need to make more friends because I’ve dwindled down to just a few. However, I feel that a handful of really good friends outweigh to handfuls of passive, non-reciprocating friends.
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“Friend” is a very subjective topic. Your post presents your perspective on friends / friendship. My greatest desire of a friend is truth and trust. This runs the gammut from family, spouse to more than casual acquaintances. I don’t always agree with my friends and vice versa, and that’s ok. It’s actually healthy. If I see something wrong, I will communicate it to my friend in a calm and caring way. And I’d expect the same courtesy from my friend. We all judge! We don’t like to say it, because it sounds negative. However, everyone judges; that’s how we arrive at decision making, choices, likes and dislikes! Whatever I say behind my friends’ back I’ll say to their face. We have become very sensitive about “stuff”, often overlooking what is truly important. ie: Don’t be so “nice” and politically correct that you’ll smile at me and send me away with spinich in my front teeth instead of pointing out the matter. That becomes a problem when I later look in the mirror and discover how I looked all day after being with my friend who said nothing of the matter. (Just a minor example.) Friends should always have each others best interest at heart. Accept friends for who they are, not for what or who you want them to be, and gently invite them to grow. Yes, be genuine, be a blessing.
I do my best to be a good friend.
What hurts me is how my friendships have changed since I got married, moved and had a child.
It really showed me who’s there for me and who was just a “convenient” of kicking it type of friend.
I’ve learned to work the word acquaintance into my vocabulary a little more.
You have to prove yourself “friendworthy” for me to use that title.
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Hmm easy or hard question? People are the way we are because of life experiences , the way we grew up and our past. Most people have great intensions but, their baggage may be different from mine…..so therefore they may think that they are doing something nice or trying to be thoughtful but, it hurts us instead. They may think want my space but, I would really like it if they showed up to the hospital see my sick father. You get the point. I try my best to meet people where they are at, be honest, share my life and roll with the punches.