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Recap: Tween Academy – Tweens & Communication

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I had the pleasure of co-hosting Tween Academy: Tweens & Communication on October 4th with The Motherhood, led by best-selling author and parenting expert Roaslind Wiseman along with five additional blogger co-hosts. Being a Tween is one of the most difficult times in a child’s life. They are at that in between stage. They may be too old for one thing but, not old enough for something else. As parents we may struggle to communicate effectively with our children as they begin to blossom in front of our eyes. Some children tend to get a little more reserved as they get older not wanting to share much with parents because it may start to feel awkward to them and there are times that we keep the lines of communication open but, don’t know if we are being heard.

The Motherhood stated: As a parent, it can be easy to think your child isn’t listening to you, but they are, and they need to know that you’re listening, too. According to the Unilever Tween Confidence Index, commissioned by fabulous Tween Academy sponsor Unilever’s partnering deodorant brands, the more tweens value talking to their parents, the higher self-confidence they’ll have.

Here are some of the key things we discussed during out chat – The Motherhood Talk Summary Keeping Open Lines of Communication

Focus on listening. Often children confide in their parents to vent, not to get advice. Unless there is immediate physical danger, when your child tells you something, really listen. Many children are reluctant to share problems with their parents because they’re worried their parents will “freak out.”

Start with the small stuff. If you can talk to your kids at the start of puberty about growth spurts, body odor and deodorant, they will come to you later for bigger life moments and issues. Supporting research shows that confidence and self-esteem begins to decline as tweens transition to their teenage years (age 13-17), underscoring the importance of continual communication.

Thank them for sharing their problem with you. Reaching out to their parents is difficult for many kids, so it’s important to recognize this effort as you want to be a resource for your child in the future.

We also talked about: Overcoming communication challenges, Letting Tweens know you’re on their side, Competing with technology for attention, Privacy is a privilege, Tough Conversations, Being there when they need you, Keeping your cool, and Remembering NOT to limit communication. To read the full Summary and get links to resources please head on over to The Motherhood.

Surprise Giveaway: A gift pack from Unilever which will include a Vera Bradley bag; one sample each of Dove, Degree Girl and Degree Men deodorant; and Rosalind Wiseman’s books Queen Bees and Wannabes and Boys, Girls & Other Hazardous Materials.

Mandatory Giveaway Entry: How do you communication with your tween?
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Giveaway ends on Monday October 17th (My Birthday) at 11:59 pm, Good Luck!

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Comments

  1. Louise Brouillette says

    My tweens are my grandsons, and so far, communication is good, but that may be because I’m not their mothers!

  3. LeAnn V says

    I have three daughters, two teens and one tween. I found that a great time for talking to my girls was at bedtime. My girls always seemed more willing to talk about their day when they were quiet and relaxed, not right after school when we are hectic with activities and homework.

  7. Valerie Mabrey says

    I take them for walks or something then just start sharing what is bothering both of us.
    vmkids3 at msn dot com

  16. MEG says

    How do I communicate with my teen??? Very carefully, it seems. Actually, I table discussions when it’s clear the attitude is getting in the way of listening and when the attitude is receptive, I try it then.

  22. Stacy says

    It’s important to let them know that you’re available to talk. We like to talk at the dinner table.
    nrdunningATgmailDOTcom

  25. Rebecca says

    When communicating with a tween, I focus on listening and trying to understand things from their perspective.

  29. Deborah Rosen says

    When my son was a tween, what worked best was to let him know, in a quiet way, that I thought he had something he wanted to talk about and that I was ready to listen when he was ready to talk. And then I just kept quiet but I made sure there were at least a couple of times a day where we would have the chance to talk privately and quietly. This is what worked for us; YMMV.

  32. Lorri S says

    I don’t have a tween, but have had nieces and nephews that have moved through that stage and found it harder to talk with the girls than the boys.

  35. Ellie W says

    I don’t have a tween at the moment. My 3 boys are all in their twenties now. But when they were tweens we pretty much bonded over sports. I took them to all their practices and games and we would discuss them endlessly. I think to find a common interest is one of the best ways to open up communication with your kids.
    eswright18 at gmail dot com

  43. Deb S says

    We have a “mandatory” school day discussion for 15 every afternoon at 4. During that time I find out about grades, homework, friend stuff, etc.

    dlsloveblogs(at)gmail(dot)com

  44. ferriz says

    no tweens of my own yet but my sister is 8 years younger than me so i have experience. i just let her know the lines of communication are always open and promised not to freak out no matter what they told me.

  46. ROSE O. says

    I usually communicate with my “tween” the best in the morning as she is getting ready for school. We discuss what is happening in her life while I am helping with her hair or as I am making breakfast.

  47. Jenn M. says

    When trying to talk to my tweens, I find that driving around in the car is usually the best time to talk. They get control of the radio and seem more relaxed

  48. amie d says

    I try and be as understanding as possible and let them know they can talk to me about anything. I also try and stay in touch with their friends parents you can find out alot about what is going on through them. Thanks!

  51. Pauline M says

    My communication with my tween (at least my daugher) I think is pretty good. She will spend an hour while I’m making dinner telling me everything that’s going on. I figure I might as well take advantage of this while I can. As for my son, I start with what he had for lunch, and then after the “I can’t remember’s”, I tend to get it out of him.

  53. Tonya Dean says

    It’s so hard! Most of the time it is like we are talking two different languages. She is mostly talk to me when she wants something or when we are doing something that she likes.

  57. dddiva says

    Try not to be judgmental, offer advice but realize they will have to make their own way in the world. My girls are older now and Ian’s not quite there but they have always known I’ll be there no matter what and they can tell me anything.
    dddiva´s last blog post ..Proactiv 365 Review

  65. Erica C. says

    We try to have a lot of family activities. We talk the most when we go hiking or bike riding. Just spending a lot of time together keeps our communication going.

  66. Julie L says

    my daughter and I go out and spend time together -just the 2 of us—we do a movie, have lunch
    htanks

  73. Cee Love says

    Well, My daughter isn’t a tween but, I do have a tween neice that is a tween, we actually haev a good realtionship when she comes ove4r to my house, it’s to do art work with my and my kids or bake cupcakes, things like that. I think our realtionship is due to the fact I am not her mother. So we communicate through projects.

  74. brian e. says

    Thanks for the giveaway…we keep open lines of communication with our tween; any subject, any time…no guilt trip.

    senorpiero [at] yahoo [dot] com

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